TRUE ESSENCE OF LIFE? AM I LOOKING FOR YOU?

i am settling back into this life and this workload. 

funnnnnnnny weeeeeeeeeeeek to say the least
oh god.

kind of a wtf day.
wtf.

today i studied until my brain fell out of my head.  it hurt like a bitch and sida wasn't too happy to put it back in my head.

8 track mix / approx. 30 min

nothing much to say
things are things

past two weeks: 
-work and play
-birthday weekend
-sleepless nights and intense napping seshs with roomie
-spring break this week. full of rest and lazying( _ )

friday the thirteenth
birthdahnu

i feel like i'm growing a lot this year.
and i'm scared of a lot of things right now
a lot of change and possibilities of loneliness in the future
but i'm ...just glad ...over things.

i'm feeling somewhat wholesome

kind of bothered
kind of lame

anyway i've been spending the wee hours of the morning this week reading about astrological signs and personalities
its so addicting and accurate
i feel like i'm obtaining this different perspective on people and their behaviors
but its making me question a lot about individuality and how the timing of our birth can frame out our mindset / personality.
i feel like the way i've been approaching life has been slightly scrambled
but thats growing.

i guess i'm just glad we didnt spend the night playing blockles



the sky is pretty

Pisceans possess a gentle, patient, malleable nature. They have many generous qualities and are friendly, good natured, kind and compassionate, sensitive to the feelings of those around them, and respond with the utmost sympathy and tact to any suffering they encounter. They are deservedly popular with all kinds of people, partly because their easygoing, affectionate, submissive natures offer no threat or challenge to stronger and more exuberant characters. They accept the people around them and the circumstances in which they find themselves rather than trying to adapt them to suit themselves, and they patiently wait for problems to sort themselves out rather than take the initiative in solving them. They are more readily concerned with the problems of others than with their own.

Their natures tend to be too otherworldly for the practical purposes of living in this world as it is. They sometimes exist emotionally rather than rationally, instinctively more than intellectually (depending on how they are aspected). They long to be recognized as greatly creative. They also dislike disciple and confinement. The nine-to-five life is not for them. Any rebellion they make against convention is personal, however, as they often times do not have the energy or motivation to battle against the Establishment.

Pisceans tend to withdraw into a dream world where their qualities can bring mental satisfaction and sometimes, fame and financial reward for they are extremely gifted artistically. They are also versatile and intuitive, have quick understanding, observe and listen well, and are receptive to new ideas and atmospheres. All these factors can combine to produce remarkable creativity in literature, music and art. They may count among their gifts mediumistic qualities which can give them a feeling that their best work comes from outside themselves, "Whispered beyond the misted curtains, screening this world from that." Even when they cannot express themselves creatively they have a greater than average instinct for, and love of, beauty in art and nature, a catlike appreciation of luxury and pleasure, and a yearning for new sensations and travel to remote, exotic places.

They are never egotistical in their personal relationships and give more than they ask from their friends. They are sexually delicate, in the extreme almost asexual, and most Pisceans would want a relationship in which the partner's mind and spirit rather than the body resonated with their own. Unfortunately they can be easily misled by a lover who courts them delicately and in marriage makes them unhappy by a coarser sexuality than they expected. They are nevertheless intensely loyal and home-loving and will remain faithful.

In their employment they are better working either by themselves or in subordinate positions. Their talents are individual in a commercial business or similar undertaking. They would be afraid to manage more than a small department, worrying always that they would fail in a crisis. They can make fair secretaries and bookkeepers. Their sympathy equips them for work in charities catering for the needy, as nurses looking after the sick and as veterinary surgeons caring for animals. As librarians or astronomers they can satisfy their mental wanderlust, and their fondness for "faraway places with strange-sounding names" may turn them into sailors or travellers. Many architects and lawyers are Pisceans, and when the creative abilities are combined with gifts of imitation and the ability to enter into the feelings of others, Pisceans find their fulfillment on the stage. Their psychic and spiritual qualities can lead them into careers in the church or as mediums and mystics. They may find an outlet for their creativity as caterers, and are said to make good detectives because they can imagine themselves in the place of criminals and understand how their minds would work. In technical occupations they are well employed in dealing with anaesthetics, fluids, gases and plastics. Because of their lively versatility and inability to concentrate overmuch on any one project, Pisceans often simultaneously follow more than one occupation.

i'm sick of doing art. of work. i am sick of this routine.
i am sick of playing blockles all day
ADVENTURE
i am on a search
i just need something that is remotely comforting, exciting, -happy.